A never ending Nightmare

No matter what I do, I can't seem to wake from this nightmare that I am in. It's like im stuck in some kind of horror movie, something like Nightmare on Elm Street to be exact. Where your stuck in this nightmare and you think you woke up and all is fine, but just to find out your still stuck in the nightmare that you thought you left. Well that's how I fucking feel, and im stuck with this knot in my stomach, and my heart feels like it has dropped to my ass. My heart breaks to see my little brother miserable in pain. In and out of the hospital with him is something I can not stomach, I can not see him in this condition. It hurts so much to see him like this, that I can not stop the tears from falling. If having a kid is like this than I don't think I can deal, I can hardly face this, I can only imagine seeing one of my own like this. I can imagine what a parent must go through, and I feel like im losing my mind. When will this all be over?. I need a vacation :(