A Stand still

So for the past couple of nights sleep has become non-existant and resting my eyes has been quite difficult. tossing and turning for the most is what my night consist of, and the nights I do nod off seem to be filled with bits and pieces of a dream that I find it hard to make out, and I don't know why this is. lately I've been kind of a debby downer as you may say, and I don't know why because for the most part im happy with my life, but I feel as if something is missing and I can't seem to put my finger on it but I do feel that I have a void that needs to be filled. Now don't get me wrong my life is filled with all the love that I need, and im in an amazing relationship but for some reason I feel im at some kind of stand still and I don't even know what direction to go in. I feel as if im relying on my boyfriend and our relationship to make things better and that's not how I want things to be. but don't jump into the conclusion that im co-dependent on my relationship im still independent. but it's like you know when you feel down you run to your safe place to fix it all some run to drugs or liquor or something that makes them happy well that's what I have been doing. I always thought once I finished h.s. my life would just fall into place but how I was wrong, because as I have realize things just don't happen like that, and it bothers me not to know what's my next move what's best for me. I feel as life has become the same thing for me just this same old routine and I'm so over it, I need to start working on what's best for me and start paving the way of a new path, but as im scared of this I also don't know how to go about it. so what am I do to? when I'm clueless of it all.