The upside of life

For awhile I've been in a constant struggle with myself, no not with alcohol or drugs nothing of that sort. You can say it has been a struggle with myself, for some time I've been unhappy with the person i was and with my life and no matter how hard i tried to find a way to make things better for myself i just couldn't find some peace. For awhile i was stuck in this deep depression that just didn't seem to go away so i was living day by day unhappy and i just didn't see my life being that way. There were days i wish i didn't wake and nights i couldn't even sleep and in between that i cried till my eyes couldn't tear anymore. I felt as if all the life was just sucked out of me, and for those who have felt what i have than you will know it's not a pleasant feeling. But i knew deep down inside i would have to fight against this because i didn't want to be a person who regret not doing anything for herself. My problem was i didn't know where to start, but to me i didn't care how i started or where i would start as long as i was doing something to improve my life. Unlike many i do have a support system which is my family but most of all my boyfriend and i can't say how grateful i am to have such people in my life. But if it's one person i am grateful for the most is my boyfriend and nothing i can say or do can ever let him know the appreciation i have for him, because although he has seen me at my best, believe that he has seen me at my worst and many might turn away from me and not give a fuck but he does. He was the one to see me cry day and night time after time, having to see me just wasting a way as if life seem meaningless and just a mess. But not once did he turn the cheek and walk away he stuck it out through it all and let me say i am not an easy person to deal with, so i have to say most of my drive is from him. I haven't accomplished much but I'm working on it, I'm taking baby steps to where i got to go, and I'm in no rush. I finally got my permit after wanting it for so long, I'm enrolling into school which I'm looking for to and even though it's nothing big I'm proud of myself for at least trying to make an effort to do something with my life. I can finally say that yea I'm not sure of whats to come and my future isn't quite clear but that I'm in a place that i am truly happy with who i am, and where i am at, and i am truly happy to be with such a beautiful soul that my boyfriend is and blessed to have him in my life. Nothing is ever easy but as there are a down to things there's always a way up, so hang in there.

So my brother has been like really stuck on the movie matrix & he's always explaining it to me and i found it so funny

Chester French

I love Chester French like Pharell says he's got that mix of beatles and motown with his own little twist, and you can't hate someone who has produced a remake to Jay-z music. Check out his music i love it & it's quite feel good too.

And for once she finds happiness with in her own life & she couldn't ask for anything else.

" Sometimes you just feel everything and nothing all at once. Sometimes you'll find yourself smiling, while missing something at the same time. At times you can absolutely love a person, all the while wanting to hate them. Life comes without guarantees. Except that smiling will brighten your face, laughing will enhance your eyes, and falling in love will change your life."








& love to me is my everything the way he is my world

Keeping it real

It's funny how now everyone is now wanting to claim how real they are, and how there the realest person we could ever meet. Now everyone want to say how they are so real, and way to blunt to handle, because they speak there mind. Now don't get me wrong i am all up for people having a voice and speaking up for themselves but there is a time, and place for all that. But please this whole real shit is all a joke, and people really need to face it just because you claim your real doesn't mean your real. How many times have i seen fake as bitches, and pussy ass niggas claim how real they are, and how no one wants a piece of them, the same people who are fake, the backstabbers, the hoes, the ghetto bitches, low life niggas, and especially those who go around talking shit behind everyone's back is usually the ones claiming they are so real, when even confronted on there bluff they will lie to the fullest. Now tell me if thats real, and for those who swear there shit don't stink where they feel as if there's god's gift to man kind always talking about people hate on them, because of the fact that there real, i sincerely laugh upon them because no one hates on you because your real, we hate you because you think your gold and honestly you ain't worth shit. And just because you say mean shit or put your two sense in when not needed doesn't mean your real, if no one ask's for your opinion than don't provide one. I can't tell you how many people i know who goes and say shit that ain't even cute, always saying some thing negative to bring you down then end up saying how sensitive you are and that there are such a good friend and thats why they tell it like it is, and all we can do is respect that fact. Real my ass, yeah a friend speaks the truth but not to intentionally speak words to hurt, you say mean shit because you want to not because it was needed. But what i find funny is if the tables would turn they would be hurt and say how foul you are. Another thing that urks me is how people is always talking about how they put some one on to the latest clothes or artist and gets pissed when people start saying how they been knew about it before you brought it to there attention, or how people always talk about people biting off them and want to put them on blast and humiliates them, or like on myspace if someones page has some kind of graphic that you have or your page resembles there's now they want to go hard. Some one is always going to copy off of you regardless on how original you are, just see it as how people must really like your work to find it worth copying. I'm tired of these stank ass people and it all needs to stop. I feel if you are so real as you claim you are you shouldn't have to brag about it and as corny as this might sound you should just be about it because i think those who take act speaks louder than words. I find it to be all to be nonsense and to me it's just looking like alot of wanna be's, and please please can people stop being full of themselves.